Mr Monk and the Cats
by Bibbibabka Ditty
Summary: When an old woman is found dead in her home Mr. Monk is on the case. But how can he solve a crime with so many cats around! And is it possible that one of Randy's theories could be right?
1. Chapter 1

**Mr. Monk and the Cats.**

**Chapter 1**

"Mr. Monk! What are you doing?" Monk's assistant Natalie asked her boss as she watched him pull things off the bulletin board in front of the police station.

"It's all _dis_organized, Natalie. Look, there's job-wanted signs, concert posters, lost animal fliers. They're all mixed up! Eschew, I think is the most appropriate word. I need you to go to my house- maybe you should take notes Natalie…"

Natalie gave him her "shut up before I hurt you look" as the detective went on. " Bring the clear push pins, the straight edge scissors, and a level."

"A Level?" Natalie asked eyebrows raised, " Which one?"

"Hmm…which one…Level number 1. Wait no! Level number two. Uh, no, bring level number one and the level checking level." The obsessive-compulsive detective finally decided.

" Mr. Monk, I don't have time for this. I have to go get Julie. The Captain said he would take you home. He should be here in a few minutes."

"You mean your just going to leave me here!? You can't do that Natalie. This is your job." He cried in disbelief.

"Well, I wouldn't have to if you wouldn't have spent thirty minutes at the store tying your shoes! Besides, there's the Captain." She stated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Blink blink BLINKER! Captain! You have to use the blinker!"

"Monk. You don't have to use the blinker every time the road curves." The Captain replied as calmly as he could.

" Blinker!! But it's the safest way to drive! Blink blink_er_" Monk repeated loudly.

"Monk," Captain Stottlemeyer said slowly with false pleasantness in his voice, "If you say blinker one more time, I'm going to throw you in the next dumpster I find."

After a few minutes of silence Monk again spoke up. " Captain you missed the turn to my house. You need to turn around."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. There is a possible crime scene a couple blocks up that I have to check out before I take you home."

As soon as Captain Stottlemeyer pulled into the dilapidated houses driveway Monk began to complain.

"Oh my God! What is that smell?"

"What smell" Stottlemeyer asked as they headed towards the door.

"What smell? What smell? Its like a pack of wet dogs died in a cattle truck!!!"

Stottlemeyer opened the door and they walked in together. "Don't you think your overreacting a little?"

Silence.

"Monk?" He turned to see his favorite detective crying and trembling in the doorway." Monk? Are you okay?

With fear in his eyes and hopelessness in his voice Monk managed to choke out one word.

"wi wipe."

"What is the matte_r_ with you?"

"Cats. They're all _over_ the place! There's some on the couch and some over- Aghhh!" Monk screamed as a cat slowly encircled his legs. He promptly jumped onto the coffee table, momentarily forgetting his fear of heights in his panic. Within seconds three friendly cats joined him on the table trying to get attention from the strange looking human. " Their dander and fur and germs! I can feel them creeping into my body" He yelled to the now missing Captain.

"Monk the body is in here." He called from the next room.

"Carry me." The grown man pleaded.

" WHAT?" the captain asked poking his head out of the bedroom.

"Carry me."

"I'm not going to carry you, Monk," the Captain all but growled.

"Please?"

"No"

Please?!"

"No!"

"Okay, but here's the thing, Carry ME!" he cried

Finally the frustrated cop stomped over to monk flinging him over his shoulder, which of course made Monk scream, and roughly carried monk into the bedroom. Plunking him on the floor the Captain turned to the medical examiner. "Hey Doc. What's the verdict?" he asked ignoring his heavily breathing friend.

"I'll know more when I get her on my table, but it looks like asphyxiation. I found cat hairs on her mouth and in her throat."

The captains lieutenant, Randy Disher, who arrived on the scene a few minutes before his boss and quirky friend did spoke up for the first time. "The cat did it," he stated simply.

The men in the room all turned and stared blankly at the cop.

"Yeah. She laid down and after she was asleep one of the cats laid on her face and killed her. All we have to do now is figure out which cat." He sounded so proud as he told his theory to the others.

"I don't –hhung- think so. –Hhung- This was murder -hhung." Monk said. Breathing hard.

"Why do you say that?" the captain asked.

"Well, for –hhungh- one thing, she hasn't been sleeping in here. –Hhungh- She's been sleeping on the recliner in the living room. From the coffee table in –hhungh- the living room you can see the blanket by the chair. Plus, her slippers where in front of the chair."

"Is that all?"

"No, uh, she had –hhung- bronchitis. Her medicine and inhaler are on the side table. Captain, when you where sick last month you –hhung- said you had to sleep in your recliner because you kept coughing if you laid –hhungh- down."

"That's right. He's right." He told the others in the room. "But why would someone want to kill the old lady?"

" Dorothy Willows. 69." Disher stated matter-of-factly.

"What" Monk and Stottlemeyer asked together?

"The victim. Her name is Dorothy Willows. 69 years old."

"Right, so again, why would someone want to kill the old lady?" the Captain repeated.

The three men looked at Monk expectantly. Noticing there stares Monk said defensively, "How should I know? Can you take –hhungh- me home now?"

"Are you sure there's nothing else?" the captain asked.

"Well of the cats is –hhungh- missing" saying the word 'cats' with disgust.

"Monk, there has got to be 30 cats in-"

"27. There are 27 cats." Monk interrupted

"27. Okay. There are 27 cats in here, how do you know one is missing?"

"Well, there –hhungg- is silver –hhungh- blue fur all –hhungh- over the place, but none of -hhungh- the other cats are that –hhungh- colored." He had made his points, but he was still shaking and his breath was coming faster and faster.

The others looked around for a few seconds noticing the many cats. Siamese, calico, white, black, tabby, but none with silver blue fur.

"Wow" said Randy "You're good." Even after the many years of working with Monk he was still amazed at his detective skills.

"Lt. I want you and Parker to question the neighbors. I'm going to get Monk home before he starts hyperventilating."

Monk shot him a grateful glance as he said good-bye to the others.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Two days later Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger where waiting in the Captains office. Natalie thumbed through an old magazine while Monk wondered around straightening the frames on the walls and organizing Leland Stottlemeyers personal things by size, shape, and number of 90-degree angles. After a small wait the Captain came in followed by Disher.

"So, Captain. Is there any news on the Willows case?" Natalie asked.

"As a matter of fact, there is," he said with a smirk on his face, "I never thought I would say this, but Monk was wrong and Randy was right."

Natalie and Monk both turned to look at the Lt., standing there with a goofy grin on his face.

"Its okay Monk, you'll get the next one." Randy said trying to comfort the very confused Mr. Monk.

"What?" Monk questioned, "How is that possible?"

"We got the coroners report back today. Time of death was about nine o'clock. There was Zolpidem in her system and cat hair and dander on and in her nose, mouth, and throat." Randy said.

"She took a sleeping pill and fell asleep on her bed. One of the cats must have curled up next to her face." The Captain clarified.

Monk still looking at them in disbelief finally managed to utter out the questions swirling in his mind. "But she wasn't sleeping in her bed. I proved that."

"She must have been feeling better."

"What about the missing cat?"

"I talked to animal control. You were right about the 27 cats. And you were right about there being one missing. None of the cats had that same colored fur, but it could have got out when the paramedics and other personnel first arrived on the scene." The Captain countered.

While Monk and Stottlemeyer where arguing Randy sat talking with Natalie trying to impress her with a funny story. " I was with the Captain when he got the call from animal control. They said they would try to find homes for each of the cats. They already had most of them named. They called one Sherlock because it sniffed around everywhere and one they named Sleepy because it didn't even stir when they moved it. They named six of the other cats after the other seven dwarfs."

"Yeah, that's interesting." Natalie said trying to listen to what the Captain and Monk where saying.

"What did the neighbors say?" Monk asked, still refusing to listen to the official version of events.

"Randy, tell Monk what the neighbors said so we can go home."

"She lived in a cul de sac. The house on the right is empty. A Mr. Frank Snyder says he went over to the victim's house at 7pm to help with some chores. He didn't notice anything suspicious before during or after. He also stated that none of the cats seemed to have a grudge against the victim." At his last comment everyone else in the room groaned.

Randy continued, "The only other person on the street home at the time of death was a miss Nova Grant. She confirmed that she saw Snyder go to the victim's house around 7pm. She didn't notice anything suspicious.

"Monk the cat did it!" The captain said firmly then groaning, "I can't believe I have to keep saying that!"

"Well it won't hurt to question them again." Monk said, still not giving in.

"Well as far as this station is concerned the case is closed. If you want to waste your time feel free to do so." The Captain finished.

Frustrated Monk pulled Natalie out of the room and directed her back to Dorothy Willows neighborhood. "I can't believe that story," Monk repeated over and over to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Forty minutes later Natalie found herself ringing the bell to Frank Snyder's house while Monk cowered behind her, afraid of any germs that might be coming his way. Seconds later a small, balding man with beady eyes opened the door wearing work gloves, overalls, and a t-shirt, all of which had seen cleaner days.

"Hello Mr. Snyder. My name in Natalie Teeger, and this is my boss Adrian Monk. We are looking into the death of your neighbor Ms. Willows."

"I already talked with the police," he snapped.

Monk, speaking up, informed the man that they were just doing routine follow up work and asked if they might come in. After hesitating Mr. Snyder allowed the odd pair to enter. Monk and Natalie followed the man into his living room that was cluttered floor to ceiling with books, magazines, and newspaper. Almost every square inch of wall space was covered with paintings, portraits, and prints; in essence, one of Monk's worst nightmares. Natalie, realizing the state her persnickety boss was in quickly took over the interview.

"So, Mr. Snyder, what do you do for a living?" she asked trying to make light conversation to help the mood.

"I'm a janitor, as if it's any of your business!" he snottily said, making Monk choke with surprise. He just couldn't understand how someone's house that cleaned for a living could be such a mess.

"Mr. Snyder, you told the police that you went over to Ms. Willows house at 7pm is that correct?"

"Yes Miss Teeger. I go every week to deliver her groceries and help put them away."

"That's very nice of you. Do you remember anything unusual happening the day of her death?"

"As I already told the _real_ police, no I didn't. She was her usual self. Now if there's nothing else, I have to get ready for work." He walked the two to the door but before he could close it Monk turned, picked something off his shoulder and asked one more question.

"Do you have any pets?"

"NO!" was his firm reply as he slammed the door.

Heading toward the next house Monk turned to Natalie and simply stated, "he's the guy."

"What? How do you know that?"

"This" and he showed her the strand of silver blue fur he had plucked off the man's shirt. Natalie looked at him in amazement as she rang the bell to the other neighbor's house. After she again introduced themselves to the slight woman at the door they were ushered into her front room, which compared to the last place, was almost 4 stars. The room itself was clean and simply furnished. A couch and two chairs faced a small fireplace. Against the opposite wall sat a gleaming piano and centered above it was the music to Willie Nelson's song "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain." Monks eyes scanned the room but when they fell on the black and white notes tears welled up in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Miss Grant politely asked.

Monk turned and smiled at this kind stranger. "It was my wife's favorite song."

"I am so sorry for your loss Mr. Monk." She said earnestly as she handed him a tissue. "Please have a seat. Can I get you anything?"

"That's very nice of you to offer but were fine Miss Grant." Natalie returned.

"Please, call me Nova. How can I help?

Monk, at this point took over. "Have you ever seen Ms. Willows with a silver blue cat?"

"I think she brought one home the day she died."

"You told Lt. Disher that you saw Mr. Snyder go over to Ms. Willows house at 7pm, is that correct?"

"Yes. I always practice yodeling from 7:00-8:30. I stand by this window so I can see the mountains. You yodel better when you're looking at mountains. I don't know why. I saw Frank go over at 7 and he went back over there just before I finished at 8:30."

"He went back at 8:30?"

"You yodel?"

Both guests asked their question at the same time.

"Yes to both." She turned and looked at Natalie, "would you like to listen?"

"Uh no. No, no, no. No. NO." Monk kept repeating and hurried towards the door.

"I'd love to, but we have to go. Please call if you think of anything else." Natalie said and handed her a card.

Once outside Natalie scolded Monk. "What is the matter with you? How could you act like that! It was so rude!"

"Natalie, put yodeling in the list between frogs and soccer riots."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The next day back at head quarters Monk was again arguing with the Captain about the Willows case.

"He's the guy Captain. He killed Dorothy Willows!"

"Why Monk? Why would he kill the lady? What good would it do him?"

"I don't know. Not yet, but he's the guy. Can't you get a search warrant?"

"Based on one cat hair? The guy said he had been at her house the day she was killed. It could have gotten on him then."

"But it's been days since he's been over there. Plus the neighbor said she saw him go back over there an hour and a half later. Why would he lie about that?

While they continued the battle the phone in Natalie's purse rang. "Hello?"

" Miss Teeger, This is Nova. I don't like to bother you, but you did say to call…"

"Of course. What is it?"

"It's that cat Mr. Monk was asking about. I saw it in Mr. Snyder's window. When he saw me looking at the cat he got a weird look on his face. I don't know if its important, but I thought I should call."

"You did the right thing. When did this happen?"

"About five minutes ago."

"Ok. Thanks." She said as she hung up.

"Mr. Monk?"

"Mr. Monk?" she tried again to interrupt the heated discussion going on.

"Mr. Monk! Captain!" She yelled fed up.

The room went quiet immediately. "That was Nova Grant. She said she saw Mr. Snyder with the missing cat. She also said Mr. Snyder saw her looking at the cat and wasn't to happy about it"

Slowly, a grin appeared on Monk's face.

" You solved it didn't you?" The rest of the group said in unison.

" We have to get to Nova Grant's house. Now!" was all he said.

With the help of police sirens and lights they were able to get to the house in just twenty minutes, even after Monk again began messing with the bulletin board. They hurried up the walk and knocked on the door. Inside they could hear the sounds of struggle.

" Randy, Go around back!" The captain ordered. Then he kicked in the door. Leland, Monk, and Natalie followed the sounds of violence upstairs. There they found Nova yelling and kicking at Frank Snyder. He had the beginnings of a black eye and blood poured from his nose. His lips were gashed and he had scratches and bite marks on his hands and arms. Before the good guys had a chance to say anything Nova gave Frank one more shot with her foot against Franks forehead that sent him reeling across the room.

"Freeze!" Leland shouted with his gun aimed at the creeps face. The coward, taking one look at the barrel of the captain's gun, jumped out of the open window next to him.

As Natalie rushed to aid the uninjured Nova, the men ran downstairs to catch up with Snyder. As the rounded the corner they saw him lying on the ground facedown, cuffed, with Randy standing above him, one foot on Snyder's back and fists on his hips and a cocky smile on his face.

A few minutes later everyone was gathered in Novas living room. "How did you figure it out Mr. Monk"

"I got one clue from Randy the other day when he was telling Natalie about the names the animal shelter had given the cats. The other clue came from you. Why he would kill the old women." He paused and then continued. "Here's what happened. Mr. Snyder, you told us you were a janitor, but you didn't tell us where. Yesterday I found out that you work at PetSmart. Everyday you saw all kinds of animal posters. The day before you killed Ms Willows you saw a reward poster just like this one." He held up a pasty blue piece of paper for everyone to see. On it in big letters contained the words "REWARD $20,000"

"As chance would have it, Ms willows found the cat and took it in. She didn't know about the reward. Later, when you went to help her you saw the cat, and the dollar signs. You probably offered to buy the cat from her, but she would never part with the germ-infested felines."

"I offered her $200 and she still wouldn't take it! The murderer burst out. "I tried to reason with her but she wouldn't listen!"

"So of course you had to kill her. You went home and worked out your plan. You went back, pretended to make up with her and slipped her own sleeping medications in her drink. Then you just had to wait for her to fall asleep. You had to make it look like an accident so you grabbed a cat and smothered her with it."

"Oh my God" Stottlemeyer, Natalie, and Nova said.

"I knew it!" Randy pronounced.

After giving Randy a questioning look Snyder snarled, "You can't prove any of that."

"Lt. Would you please take those gloves off his hands."

Disher did so and everyone saw why Monk made that request. Snyders hands where deeply scratched. "I'm sure the blue Persian is still at your house. Not to mention the attempted murder of Nova Grant that we are all witnesses to. None of your feeble excuses are going to help you."

Snyder could only hang his head as he was led to the police car. Randy spoke up then and asked Monk about the clue he had given him. "Easy, The cat didn't wake up, because he drank some of the doctored drink." He explained as he left the house. Disher and Stottlemeyer followed the other officers out gratified that they could be friends with the one and only Adrian Monk.

"Nova, The cat next door, here is the owners number. Why don't you give them a call and tell them you found the cat." Natalie suggested.

"But I didn't find the cat."

"Yes you did. You told Natalie that you saw it through the window." Monk again gifted Nova with a smile.

The End

Natalie and Monk sat in the car across from the police station. "I'm going to go get our checks. Are you coming in with me?"

"Not this time Monk said "I'll wait for you here."

Twenty minutes later Natalie reappeared and looking across the street she started laughing to herself. The smartest detective in the whole world stood before the now neatly arranged bulletin board, organized by color, category, and date, with a childish grin on his face and his level checking level in hand.


End file.
